so, of course, you were supposed to call me tonight you were supposed to call me tonight we would have gone to the cinema and, after, to the restaurant, the one you like in your street
we would have slept together, have a nice breakfast together and then a walk in a park together, how beautiful, and then you would have said "i love you" in the cutest place on earth where some butterflies are dancing with the fairies
i would have waited like a week or two but you never tried to reach me no, you never called me back you were dating that bleach-blonde girl if i find her, i swear, i swear...
i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future, she broke my dream i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future when she took you away
i would have met your friends, we would have had a drink or two they would have liked me, 'cause sometimes i'm funny i would have met your dad, i would have met your mum she would have said "please, can you make some beautiful babies?"
so we would have had a boy called tom and a girl called susan, born in japan
i thought it was a love story, but you don't want to get involved i thought it was a love story, but you're not ready for that ...
me neither. i'll kill her she stole my future, she broke my dream i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future when she took you away
she's a bitch you know, all she's got is blondeness not even tenderness, yeah, she's cleverless she'll dump your arse for a model called brendan he will pay for beautiful surgery 'cause he's full of money
i would have waited like a week or two but you never tried to reach me no, you never called me back you were dating that bleach-blonde girl if i find her, i swear, you know, i swear, i swear ...
i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future, she broke my dream i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future when she took you away i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future, she broke my dream i'll kill her, i'll kill her she stole my future when she took you away
man, i told you, you know, if i find her, i really, i, i mean, i'll kill her, for real! it's like for sure, you have to know, uh, i mean, you know, i can do it, man, i'll kill her.
Une autre plus funny ;) mais la vidéo n'est pas des plus bonnes.. à écouter sur Yahoo Music..
I hate myself today I don't know what's happening to me I hate my face today I think I look so shitty I have some spot everywhere and I'm not even shaved my hair are greasy I look disgusting my eyes are glued and my lips are shaped my legs are prickling and plus I'm stinking today
how can I date someone with a face like that I know you're gonna dump me again and i am gonna cry 'cause you want a perfect girl and I'm not what you expect you want a perfect girl and I look shitty today
maybe I should put some make up and find some crazy outfits but I am very tired today and I don't care if I'm not pretty I should be like these girls skinny and great all the time and I'm still wearing my slippers and eat all the candy's at home I should sleep more and stop going out every day I should focus more and stop complaining today
tell me how can I date someone with a face like that I know your gonna dump me again and I am gonna cry 'cause you want a perfect girl and I'm not so perfect you want a perfect girl and I look shitty today
tell me how can I date someone with a face like that I know your gonna dump me and I am gonna cry
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.. The husband cringed , "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us ."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!" "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?" "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. > After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly. "Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies ?"
Une mère rentre dans la chambre de sa fille qu'elle trouve vide. Sur le lit, une lettre. Elle imagine le pire en ouvrant la lettre.
Maman chérie,
Je suis désolée de devoir te dire que j'ai quitté la maison pour aller vivre avec mon copain. Il est l'amour de ma vie. Tu devrais le voir, il est tellement mignon avec tous ses tattoos et son piercing et sa super moto. Mais ce n'est pas tout ma petite maman chérie. Je suis enfin enceinte et Abdoul dit que nous aurons une vie superbe dans sa caravane en plein milieu des bois. Il veut beaucoup d'enfants avec moi, c'est mon rêve aussi. Je me suis enfin rendu compte que la marijuana est bonne pour la santé et soulage les maux. Nous allons en cultiver et en donner à nos copains lorsqu'ils seront à court d'héroine et de cocaïne pour qu'ils ne souffrent pas. Entre-temps, j' espère que la science trouvera un remède contre le sida pour qu' Abdoul aille mieux. Il le mérite vraiment tu sais.
Ne te fais pas de soucis pour moi maman, j'ai déjà 13 ans, je peux faire attention à moi toute seule et le peu d'expérience qui me manque, Abdoul peut le compenser avec ses 44 ans. J' espère pouvoir te rendre visite très bientôt pour que tu puisses faire la connaissance de tes petits enfants. Mais d'abord je vais avec Abdoul chez ses parents en caravane pour que nous puissions nous marier. Comme ça ce sera plus facile pour lui pour son permis de séjour.
Ta fille qui t'aime.
PS : Je te raconte des idioties maman, je suis chez les voisins ! Je voulais juste te dire qu'il y a des choses bien pire dans la vie que le bulletin scolaire que tu trouveras sur ta table...
